Not Gonna Doubt

In the early years of my faith walk, I suffered an unbelief crisis. I found myself questioning the actions of other believers, doubting the truth and even my own conversations with God. I was at a crossroads significant enough to decide whether I would continue the race or abandon it. Was I better off before? Sadly, many stop believing God after facing the harsh reality that the effects of this fallen world infiltrate even the church. I’ve heard some say that they like Christ but not His followers. It hurts my heart to think of all of those wounded by the church. I understand - I was one of those wounded. One day, quite emotionally, I voiced my confusion to my sister in Christ and her father who was a military chaplain. He said to me something like this: “Picture yourself at the sea of Galilee with Jesus and no one else around. He looks into your eyes with all His love, humility and compassion and says: “Follow Me.” Somehow, it was all I needed to hear.

The enemy had succeeded in distracting me from the voice I knew. I started looking at the ways of the wicked and lost heart. Another heart condition addressed in this song is discontent (idolatry). Discontent will slowly lead us away from God in the pursuit of satisfaction outside of Him. It will make us forget the goodness of God and the fullness we have in Him. We must stay on guard against discontent. Don’t give up on God because of those who misrepresent Him or when you feel discontent. That’s when you need Him the most. The enemy seeks to separate you from God and destroy you. He has much experience doing that. He will use disillusion but also flaunt shiny things in front of you so you take your eyes off God. Understand his tactics and live. I found refuge in Psalm 37:3-5 “Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass."